The SEC playing football at a NASCAR track might be the most perfect union ever of sport, culture, sweat, pork rinds, beer and religion.

It’s like a shotgun marriage between a fried banana and peanut butter sandwich. I only wish Elvis was alive to eat it.

Tennessee and Virginia Tech are facing off Saturday night at Bristol Motor Speedway where the border cuts right through Tennessee and Virginia. The event is expected to draw a collegiate-record 150,000 tank tops.

“Show us your…um, TICKETS!”

The game could only be more Southern if the teams were playing on a giant artificial-grass portrait of Kenny Chesney. We have to assume that, unlike oval track racing, the wide receivers will be allowed to make right turns. The rest of this article is available to subscribers only – to become a subscriber click here.