Dear College Football Playoff committee: turn your Uber drivers around.

Why even bother heading to North Texas for Tuesday’s “exciting” first announcement of the first playoff standings?

Ok, we get it, Monsieur Rankman did the “mock” selection a couple years ago. The turn-down service and finger foods were fabulous.

Maybe Condi Rice wants to sing show tunes at the hotel piano bar.

Thanks to all Saturday’s significant drama, however, there is zilch left for the committee.

ESPN may need to bring in mimes, or circus animals, to keep me entertained for a show I don’t need to watch.

Spare us, please, any suspense builds or drum rolls.

The first four schools in the first ranking will be, in order: Alabama, Michigan, Clemson and Washington.

Put up the yellow caution tape, because there’s nothing left to see here…for now. The rest of this article is available to subscribers only – to become a subscriber click here.