AN IRREVERENT LOOK AT ALL THINGS SAID, CONSIDERED, TWEETED, POSTED, PHOTOGRAPHED, PLAYED AND OTHERWISE GONE AMUCK IN COLLEGE SPORTS

Please indulge a simple-minded sportswriter as he attempts to do some simple math. And then we’ll discuss the craziness of it. Seven college coaches were recently fired and will be paid a total of $62.9 million in buyout clauses. That is money to make those coaches go away and NOT coach at their respective schools:

Jim Mora (UCLA): $12 million

Todd Graham (Arizona State) $12.3 million

Kevin Sumlin (Texas A&M) $10.4 million

Jim McElwain (Florida) $7.5 million

Butch Jones (Tennessee): $8.2 million

Mike Riley (Nebraska): $6.6 million

Bret Bielema (Arkansas): $5.9 million.

But that’s not the half of it. The University of Tennessee fired Jones, paid him $8.2 to get lost, and then agreed with Greg Schiano to a “memorandum of understanding.” It became a huge misunderstanding, though, when Knoxville revolted to the idea of Schiano becoming coach. So now Tennessee and Schiano are legal wrangling over the cost of that mistake, which could cost the school millions more. And then, remember, Tennessee has to hire a new coach who will be awarded a huge contract before winning (or losing) his first game.

This week, in Nuts-ville, Tenn., shows you just how out of berserk college football has become.

The coaches amassed a total record of 247-179 for a cumulative winning percentage of .5798.

This is basically Ron McBride’s career winning percentage at the University of Utah: .5828. Or George Welsh at Virginia (.5877), or slightly worse than Dan Hawkins at Boise State (.5902).

The United States, in 1803, purchased the Louisiana Territory from France for roughly $15 million. A Nobel Prize winner earns $1.1 million. And John Wooden, who won 10 NCAA basketball titles at UCLA, earned $40,500 in his final season as coach. Of course that salary would have to be adjusted for inflation. The rest of this article is available to subscribers only – to become a subscriber click here.