Add to coach Jim Harbaugh’s whack-pack arsenal of thoughts, epiphanies, feelings, eccentricities and go-to axioms: you are what you eat.

Among this off-season’s most intriguing insights was ex-Michigan player Wilton Speight revealing to my super-sleuth bud Matt Hayes that Harbaugh didn’t want his quarterbacks to eat chicken because it was a “nervous bird.”

Using this logic, Joe Montana must have eaten only cool cucumbers.

Speight has since transferred to UCLA, where he is now in the hands of head coach\nutritionist Chip Kelly, who once trained Oregon players on pseudo-science, failed Tesla experiments, infomercial diets, genetically-engineered crickets and also moved practiced in the morning to awaken their symbiotic alarm clocks.

While waiting for further study on Harbaugh’s “nervous bird” theory from the University of Foghorn Leghorn, we’ll simply offer this regarding the general gastronomy condition of Michigan players, fans and administration:

They’re starving. The rest of this article is available to subscribers only – to become a subscriber click here.