Chalk it down as just another boring week in Rankman land. The Dow Jones crashed in a stock market collapse now being referred to as “a Nebraska,” while FAU coach Lane Kiffin offered a scholarship to the 11-year-old son of former USC quarterback Matt Leinart. There is some symmetry here if you followed the historical chain. Kiffin, while at USC, once offered a scholarship to 13-year old David Sills. And Kiffin, remember, was roughly 13 when Pete Carroll named him co-offensive coordinator at USC at the height the Trojans’ collegiate power. There would not be a pampered “boy king” located so close to the Los Angeles Coliseum until the recent tour of the “Treasures of King Tut” exhibit in Exposition Park…Washington State Coach Mike Leach, feverishly preparing for Oregon’s arrival this week, retweeted a picture of a raccoon dancing with a dog. What happened to the sport of baseball? The Dodgers and Milwaukee Brewers played a 13-inning playoff game this week that ended with more pitchers (16) than base hits (15) as batters for both teams thrilled a national audience by striking out 32 times. The next day, Milwaukee starter Wade Miley hurled five strong PITCHES before he was replaced by reliever…A century ago, Walter Johnson was in the midst of pitching 531 complete games for the Washington Senators. The Brewers are now defining “quality start” as a complete inning and also ruining a sport many people used to enjoy …USA Today, clearly suffering from what journalism professors are calling “multi-colored fish wrap attention deficit disorder,” ran a story examining what it would take for Nebraska to buy out the contract of Scott Frost, who has been in Lincoln for about as long as it takes a frozen Omaha steak to thaw. But that wasn’t as crazy as reports out of Auburn suggesting, if things don’t improve fast, the deep pockets there might be willing to scrape up $38 million to relieve Gus Malzahn of his duties less than a year after he defeated both teams that played for last year’s national championship. Sally Struthers said she could feed “four or five” starving nations for what it would take to buyout Gus, who just received a seven-year extension for $49 million. “Yeah,” some Auburn fans have argued after a 4-3 start, “but has the ink dried?”

 

1: Alabama (7-0): Nick Saban, desperate for motivational ploys, criticizes QB for not leading team into any fourth quarter this season. (1)

2: Ohio State (7-0): Some of us, a month ago, honestly thought Urban would announce for the pros before Nick Bosa. (2)

3: Notre Dame (7-0): Kelly’s sign language sideline operator left Pitt game early to wash his fingers out with soup. (4)

4: LSU (6-1): Coach O pays $100,000 fan-storming fine with a hot new Cajun currency “Grits-coin.” (12)

5: Clemson (6-0): What seemed like a great resume only weeks ago is now being punched up by Bobcat Goldthwait?  (5)

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