Rob Mullens is trying to cover up an obvious affair the selection committee is having with the Southeastern Conference. With one school in particular (no not that one). “In the room, we don’t talk about leagues,” the CFP chairman sheepishly said this week.  Yeah, but what about whispering out in the corridors? Why deny an infatuation with a gorgeous paramour? The SEC is terrific this year—a real looker. Rankman never thought he’d see passion stronger than the USA Today coaches had for the SEC back in the old days of the Bowl Championship Series. Now that was a Harlequin Bro-mance. But the CFP committee topped the whistle-blowers this week. The CFP had seven teams ranked in its top 25, one more than the SEC placed in the USA Today and AP polls. Louisiana State dropped all the way to, um, No. 7 after a near 30-point home loss. And, lordy, what does three-loss Florida have on the committee? The Gators are ranked No. 15 in the CFP ranking, SIX spots higher than Florida sits in the USA Today poll, and four spots better than the Gators’ No. 19 posting in the AP.  Was it those non-con wins over Charleston Southern and Colorado State that impressed the committee? Or maybe a look-ahead to Idaho? No, of course, it was Florida’s impressive win over Georgia. Nope, Florida lost to UGA, by 19 points. The Gators also lost to Kentucky for the first time in 31 years, at home, and also at home to Missouri, in Gainesville, by 21 points. Missouri is 5-4 overall and 1-4 in SEC play. Florida has three defeats by an AVERAGE of 17 points. Florida? Committee? Please, do tell. Ok, the Gators own a great win over LSU, which just lost by 29 points to Alabama, and a nice win over three-loss Mississippi State, which is about to lose by 29 (or more) to Alabama. And the great thing is: Florida doesn’t play Alabama. Make no mistake: the SEC is terrific this year, but let’s cool the jets on this relationship. The top six SEC teams in the CFP have an average ranking of 9.1, compared to 10.6 in the traditional polls (USAToday\AP). We could tell the CFP to “get a room” but it already has one. And nothing ever leaves it.

 

1: Alabama (9-0): So NFL-like dominating the 1972 Miami Dolphins had to be sat down and told there’s no way team Tide can finish 17-0. (1)

2: Clemson (9-0): Also known as king of ROY “Rest of Ya’lls,” “The Alabama Juniors,” “Tide-Light,” “The Pips,” “New Clemson” and Triple-A “Paw-tucket.” (2)

3: Notre Dame (9-0): Never in history has a starting Irish QB ruled “out” against Florida State felt so inconsequential. (3)

4: Michigan (8-1): Trip to Jersey only serves to remind what an awful decision it was to invite Rutgers\Maryland into Big Ten. (6)

5: Georgia (8-1): Returned from Kentucky with 55 uneaten ham-and-cheese sandwiches even after being told to “pack a lunch…” (5)

6: Oklahoma (8-1): Venerable baseball scouts rave no one goes faster from first (quarter) to third (quarter) than QB Kyler Murray.  (7)

7: West Virginia (7-1): Head coach’s visor-with-balding-hair prop voted best Halloween costume by Student Body Couch Burners Assn.  (11)

8: Washington State (8-1): “Ralphie” blushes 10 shades of red, lean, delicious, protein-filled buffalo meat after Leach calls CU mascot his favorite. (10)

9: Central Florida (8-0): CFP chairman cripples playoff hopes with damning quote: “Obviously, they have a powerful offense.”  (8)

10: LSU (7-2): “That didn’t hurt so much, now did it?” Dr. Soft Poll Landing says after injecting Tigers with 29-0 shutout shot after Alabama. (3)

11: Ohio State (8-1): Match-up of Meyer and Dantonio this week features two finalists for the “Most Pained Sideline Expressions Award.”

12: Kentucky (7-2): Be warned: Two more double-digit home losses like that and you’re out of the top 15!  (12)

13: Utah State (8-1): Currently listed as No. 14 in the AP poll, No. 16 in USA Today poll and “missing” by CFP committee. (NR)

14: Fresno State (8-1): MWC game at Boise as big as it gets in a rigged system that only needs schools like these to fill out ESPN’s bloated bowl lineup. (NR)

15: Syracuse (7-2): Haven’t followed program lately but it appears QB Donovan McNabb has program trekking on right trajectory. (NR)

16: Washington (7-3): Told by committee three losses by 10 total points did not come up during discussions praising LSU’s 29-point loss to Alabama. (NR)

 

Next Four Out

Iowa State: Has emerged in last two days as one of the three, four or five best teams in the nine-game format of the 10-team Big 12.  

Texas: Bevo still distraught over WVU loss and even shooed away stable boy who stopped by to say “hay.”

Mississippi State: Cowbells (6-3) are one blowout loss at Alabama from moving up six or seven spots in next CFP ranking.

Boston College: Back-up linebacker sent via horseback to warn town folk of impending invasion: “The Dabos are coming!”

 

Next Four Never

UNLV: Caught lucky break as ugly loss to Fresno State overshadowed by headline: “Dead Brothel Owner Wins Nevada State Assembly Seat.”

Maryland: FDA says only things more “toxic” than football program right now are cyanide, mold, Nancy Pelosi and anthrax.

UConn:  Only win came against University of Rhode Island’s second trombone section at the Newport Jazz Festival.

Kansas: Truly hoping“Mad Hatter” Les Miles will become the  answer toWhat’s the mad-hatter matter with Kansas?”